give me an 'A' for

audacity.

i will post something real here soon.

consequence - lush

So today was my first day back at school since my fifteen day break and it was alright for a first day to be honest. I was there on time for a change, two hours free right after regi which i used to have a fag break with Daisy and catch up on everything and it made me really happy because I'd missed it; filling out a job application for a shop in town; and having general chat. I enjoyed it. I made progress in art and finished a new drawing that I had decided to go for which I was pleased with. I only have a one hour lunch on a Tuesday but I went and got a curry which was lovely. I was going to buy something from Greggs but I resisted, well done me! So now I have a pound extra. Not much but I owe people money so it'll help towards that. I also discovered today that I actually like Yumyums from Greggs. My friend made me try a bit of hers after hearing me protest about them and they're really nice! So I'll be buying them in future. PD (Personal Development) is such a pointless class because we trail up to the 7th floor of our school (we have eight floors) and then watch a fifteen minute video on something we couldn't care less about to then be sent home. Pointless! Tonight I have to do lots of revision because I have a Media Studies exam tomorrow, it's the Unseen Analysis part. I'm so bad at it that it is unreal. So I'm preparing to fail. Someone has been saying certain things and I think they are aimed at me which is quite cute and surprising if it is, but crap when taking some things into consideration. Mind you, I always think that things people sa are about me, not because I'm full of myself but because I'm a really paranoid person which is rubbish. Anyway, yes here's hoping ;). I only have two cigarettes left and no money cause I owe people £££ - unfortunate. 

- xo -

meanthoughts,cheapshots

Okay so I seem to have neglected this just a bit recently so here is a mega post of the things I've been getting up to. The photo above is of me and Freya before going to my friends 18th with is what the wrist bands are for and for some reason I'm still wearing mine which I do all the time. I like seeing how long it will last, even if it is dirty and fading from showering. It's a bit stupid but whatever. The night was good even if I did have far to much to drink before I got there and spent most of the night outside talking to people I barely knew. I enjoyed myself though and I guess that's the main thing. There were literally over a hundred photos with Freya extremely similar to the one above because we kept not liking them haha. But yeah, that was the 10th April!

This is me this night after at another 18th and we both have red lights in out face. I wasn't drinking that night due to a hangover and lack of money. I got a beer from the bar and that was about it. The time was mostly spent either dancing to whatever music came on or out on the balcony smoking. I was more inclined to go with the latter because one beer does not have nearly enough, if any, effect on me to make me confidant enough to dance infront of around two hundered people. The night was pretty good and a bunch of us decided we'd walk home. It took two hours and I got in at around quarter to three. We went to asda and bought a massive munch. Mine included pasta, Oasis and a multipack of Asda Smart Price crisps that only cost fifty pence. Yes, I'm cheap! I had to throw the salt and vinegar ones away because they only tasted like vinegar and were pretty vulgar. Other than the vinegar crisps my night was pretty ace.

I've also been camping! Yes I went for four days to Loch Tay and camped there with a group of ten of us. It was really good and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Above is a picture of me looking a bit rough walking to Killin, the closest town to the campsite to get some food. We all walked four miles which too an absolute age! Everyone kept stopping and that pretty much took up the best part of the second day. We walked all the wak to this town to go specifically to the pie shop and when we got there it was just closing! We were so annoyed but we went to Co-op and bought stuff. I got Cheesey Macaroni and milk. I made it when I got back and it was stunning. As you can imagine we brought a lot of alcohol and drank it all. I was pretty drunk every night and it was really good. The drunken nights included multiple drinking games, truths being spilled, full frontal nudity, lots of laughter and a few arguments which led to a few apologies and embarressed laughs the morning after. We lost power for a whole day (because there was a kitchen at the campsite with an oven, a cooker and a fridge and things for food to be kept) and nobody could eat anything apart from cold canned soup and beans. We managed to bide our time with naps and adventures in the woods which was good. I grew to know a few people I had barely said two words to throughout my whole six years of high school as well which was nice. The camping trip was really good and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Today I've been on the beach with various different people. I was first of all with one of my friends who was helping me take photos for my college portfolio which I'm still in the process of editing to upload to my Deviantart but there are a few up there already. It was really good and pretty productive for me because I'm usually a lazy bastard and sit in my house all day hunched over a laptop or drinking myself to death with my friends. So it felt good to have progressed towards something academic for once rather than throw it away which has now become the norm for me. I went home and had my dinner and then got a text telling me to come out to the beach because a bunch of my mates were down and because I live twenty seconds away from the beach I went down in the sunny sunny weather and met them and above is a badly aimed photo I took of me with Caitlin. It was pretty good then we went back to mine and mucked about on my trampoline for a while. Once they went home I got a few photos edited, watch Family Guy on BBC3 and talked with a few friends. Glad I'm getting to know certain people a bit more, and I'm really glad for social networking sites because yes, I do have a lot of friends on Myspace and yes sometimes it is a pain when I don't reply or comment your picture back and people get a back pinion of me but necause of the internet I have met a fuck load of people and travelled a few places and had holidays there that I neevr would have had without the friend count. I've also made friends all over the place because of it and I'm happy with it so don't just take one look at my friend count and judge me or consider me to be an arrogant twat because I'm not and if you got to know me or trusted the things I wrote in my about me then you would soon see that you were wrong. Yes I am sorry that a lot of the time I'm really too lazy to comment you back but people with only a couple of hundred friends do that as well so please don't bother me with negative messages and comments because it won't make me change to be honest. I really didn't mean for that to turn into a huge rant about Myspace so sorry for getting sidetracked into an aggrovated ramble. anyway it's 4am and I'm pretty tired. Tomorrow I'm doing more photos for college, this time with Freya and I'm looking forward to it. I'm still undecided if I'll post them anywhere other than my Deviantart but oh well. Goodnight.

- xo -

bedroom eyes

So I got my hair cut and it's shorter than I planned but I'm really pleased with it! I really like this picture but it's cause of my eyes and not my hair so I'll probably upload a nicer one somewhere at some point. I'm dead happy with it :D

I'm planning on dying it soon as well to get a totally new look and I'm thinking I'm going to bleach it or go very light blonde and then put a black streak in it or something. I'm excited for it so if anyone reads this then comment and tell me what you think. I really have to dye it because it's been a year since I last dyed it and I want a totally new look cause I'm bored of what it is just now.

Tonight I have my friends 18th  so that should be good. I'll get to see everyone's reactions and everything and I'll be looking nice (: 

Today is a good day, and even if it's supposed to rain later, We had sun so far and it's not going to dampen my spitits. I'm looking forward to this weekend 

- xo -

dirty ice cream

Two posts in one day, woah!

I've cheered up a little now and I'm waiting on a phone back from someone telling me whether they're taking me on a drive or not. I'm hoping it's a yes but I'm not very positive right now. I'd be lovely just to drive anywhere with the music playing and clear my head. Right into the night please :). If not tonight then it'll be this weekend we agreed.
I've been feeling ill for the past three days and thankfully today it seems to be wearing off a little which I'm pleased about and I can finally stop getting excruciating pains in my stomach for no reason at random intervals during the day that make me double over in exasperation. It's horrible but hopefully with a bit of luck, over!
I've just been informed I have 2 parties, one tomorrow night and the next the night after! I'm very happy now and I'm thanking god for the break I'm getting from my mum's constant moaning! She honestly does not stop. Can she not accept that this is my holiday and no matter how much she moans I will go at my own pace? Apparantly not. Hmph!

"i know you know that i know you know me"

- xo -

too much mess, stress

Last night I was told a load of us were going to the meadows and we were going to get drunk and have a laugh, and I wasn't going to go at first because of an argument with one of my friends but then another convinced me to come and then I was really looking forward to coming but my mum just turned around to me and told me I was getting no money to go out. I would get bus fairs to go to town and that was it. I'm sorry but this is me without money for the 4th day in a row, and it'll be the second with no physical interaction with any one of my friends. I'm going fucking insane. I don't care about college. I don't care about photography. I don't care what you have to say. I need money and I need to relax. PLEASE.

On another dull note; I was supposed to get my hair cut today but I went up and the hairdresser told me they had no free places available (I never book my appointments) but they could squeeze me in tomorrow so I'm going tomorrow morning and knowing my current luck it'll turn out awful and I won't be going outside for another week (that's if I'm even allowed out). I just don't give two fucks about anything but my friends right now. Do not restrain me because I won't listen to you. I know for a fact already that I will do NOTHING today.

FUCK OFF.

- xo -

vanity

So today I went to town and got a load of photos which will hopefully go towards my portfolio for college, well some of them. It's been a long lonely day but it's been nice for some time to myself. It feels strange going around on your own with a camera. I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking I'm spying on people or something, it's awkward.

The photo above is of the babycakes sunglasses that were laughed this morning and I really want them. They are £25 but you get a shirt with them as well so it's not too bad. I want the yellow ones I think. I'm really looking forward to summer because it means new clothes and new memories and hopefully a new attitude. A lot of things have pissed me off recently but something about summer usually tells all the bad moods to subdue themselves, a little anyway. So I'm excited for the sunglasses.
I'm getting my hair cut soon - tomorrow if things go well and I couldn't be happier. I haven't had it cut since around this time last year and It's bad. The last time I dyed it was July and my roots are practically my whole head. I'm going blonde soon and I'm getting it done by the hair dresser because I'm pretty sure it'll ginger if I do it myself.
I downloaded tonnes of Lady GaGa today, her old stuff and I can't stop listening to them they are so good.


- xo -

what made you think?

I was supposed to be going uptown today to get some photography done and seeing as I've never gone uptown alone and done this sort of thing before I really wanted someone to come with me. No one is free. I'm feeling pretty bad because last night wasn't too great and I think I may have pissed a lot of people off by not being in the best of moods but to be fair, I was feeling ill and I hate guitar hero but not to worry. No one is saying they're annoyed at me so I'm fine for now. I really want a friend to go up with because It'd help me feel like less of a creep carrying about a tripod and a camera everywhere. Oh well. Let's hope tomorrow's better

- xo -

it's only life

So lately my life has been filled with parties, photos and friends which I find to be a pretty great mixture. Loads of people I know are turning 18 and I just keep getting invited to parties so it's a pretty good time for me right now. Tonight one of my friends is having us round to his for a "Shots and cocktails" night with I am thoroughly looking forward to. We've just got back from Asda with an absolute load of drink and mixers so tonight will be amazing. I'm so used to getting alcohol, meeting up with a couple of friends to get drunk before a parties then phoning a taxi and driving to various different parts of town to get even more trashed and on one occasion, thrown out (which I was not best pleased about but there you go). But tonight there's no mad dash at 10pm to bundle into a taxi and hit town, there's just a relaxed atmosphere with loads of really great friends having drinks. It's been so long since it happened that it's actually feeling very new to me again which is sad but nice.
I'm trying to (as much as this sounds sad, cheesy and cliché) cherish the moments I have left with the people I've grown up with for the most part of my life because I'm not living in some fantasy world where we are all going to be friends still when we're thirty and we're all finishing school and going of to lots of different colleges and universitys, meeting new people, forming new friendships and relationships and forgetting what we once knew as the norm. Yes, it is sad to think about but why revel in what's to come when yuo can take advantage of what is still at your fingertips.


Ps; Yes I am aware that it has been over a month since I have written in this so sorry if anyone actually reads this

- xo -