one eighty

So this has been a while to say the least. I have been at college a while now and it's good, I have mates there and I'm enjoying the course even if it is a bit tough, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

I had a sudden meet up with a friend today who could not stop talking about this guy that she's started meeting up with and I was really happy for her because it's about time that she had someone good for her in her life but it got me thinking when I came home. I kinda want to have that. Someone who you can talk to for hours and hours or just lay there with and not talk at all. I have to admit - I'm a little jealous of her! I'm not going to sit and mope about it though because that will not get anything done. I guess I just have to wait until I find someone. There have been recent instances when such things have appeared to start happening to me but there always seems to be something that doesn't go right and I'm getting a little tired of false alarms. I want something that I'm not afraid of and someone I can't wait to see. I suppose I'm going to have to keep my fingers crossed that something comes along soon.

I just have no idea where this "something" will come from because at college I have my class and things but no one talks outside of that so I'm ruling that out. I have my friends and they have theirs but I can't see a blind date scenario popping up from anywhere so that is out of the picture and I never meet anyone on a night out because I'm to sober to stomach tipsy conversation or I'm too drunk to form words so I really do have no options but I'll see what comes and hope for the best.

This probably sounds really desperate so I'm going to bed now. Night

- xo -